'tis all for now. enjoy!
The following is written by Natalie Camastra, one of the most passionate women's advocate on the Berkeley campus and a dear friend of mine. Her op-ed was published in the Daily Cal after the repeated sexual assaults that took place in Berkeley. It is her response to the skirt rally and the serious need for us to break the silence surrounding sexual violence.
I am worried. I am worried that the Skirt Rally that took place yesterday on the steps of Upper Sproul Plaza will be remembered as just another typical Bezerkeley protest- just another display of quirky activism from the bra burning types who are desperately trying to make a statement. I am worried that our community does not take this recent wave of violations against Berkeley students seriously. I am worried that we are increasingly becoming a culture of violence where Chris Brown’s repeated and forceful beatings of his partner Rihanna, and statements such as “Now I really am going to kill you” are met with Kanye West’s suggestion that we give the man a break. I am worried that a video game - whose objective is to rape as many women as possible and encourage impregnated women to seek abortions - is defended by the video game company because it passed “domestic ratings of an ethics watchdog body’. I am worried that no one cares about the violence anymore – that the violence has become so pervasive that it is muddled in silence. And we all know that silence is deadly.
As an organizer in the Skirt Rally, I can tell you that the ‘point’ of our protest was not to demonstrate that “Leggings under skirts” is “the latest defense against a serial molester”. Our message instead is that what we wear should have no bearing on our safety. Reporting what women wore at the time of the attack is completely irrelevant. As we saw last weekend, the molester attacked women in pants. He only discriminates on the basis of one thing, and that is sex. And all too often women are blamed for the violence that was inflicted on them. Why was she wearing that? She was drinking, right? Why was she out so late at night? Um, she was asking for it. Of course we all have to be responsible and aware of our surroundings. However, just go to CNN and we see “Woman raped in such and such”. Already the emphasis is on her and her actions, not those of the perpetrator.
The violence in our community is not about one pervert, one molester, one perpetrator. It is about the violence that takes place every day on our streets, behind closed doors and in the bedroom. It is about telling people what they do not want to hear; that every two minutes a woman will be sexually assaulted, that 60% of sexual assaults are never reported, that only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail, that domestic violence affects 25% of all US households.
I realize that men face violence too. Men are much more likely to be victim of assault in their lifetime than a woman although women are 12 times more likely to die from intimate partner violence from a partner than men. However, I believe that just as women have been oppressed by gender stereotyping- the separate spheres ideology that defines the role of women are strictly mothers and wives, men to have been suppressed by the gender constructions of masculinity; of masculinity as inextricably linked with violence and aggression (sexual and otherwise). Just last year, a member of our community, ChrisWootten’s life ended tragically in a violent confrontation.
Many people have asked me recently if I knew how to prevent or stop violence against women. All I know is that as a country, we have not yet engaged in a national conversation about violence OR sexuality. Both violence and sex saturate our media, yet we are not comfortable discussing either within our own homes. How many of us received comprehensive sex education from our parents? How many of us are comfortable discussing violence, especially the violence against women? As a friend of mine once told me, when we do not discuss safe sex, teens face sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies. When we do not discuss consent, people get raped. As a community in Berkeley and as a nation, we must face the difficult questions surrounding sex and violence.
The Skirt Rally was about starting to address some of these issues as situated in our community. It was about breaking the silence surrounding sexual violence. My only hope for Berkeley is that people give a care.
tiff and i made this deliciously decadent chocolate cake i (mind and stomach included) had been thinking about for FOREVER. it's called blackout cake and it's from the sober kitchen cookbook. long story short, three rich layers of chocolate cake married together with a homemade dark chocolate pudding, drizzled in icing and smothered with a heavy helping of chocolate cake crumbs. all over.
I heard the gunfire all night. There was blood and mayhem for three days. The fear has now turned into rage. Anger is a good thing, it shakes us out of our indifference and inaction. I am angry for a number of reasons. I am angry that so many people died in this horrific way. I am angry that we were so ineffective in managing this crisis. There weren't enough ambulances, there weren't enough policemen, (and the ones present were armed with bamboo canes.) it was impossible for the system as a whole to respond appropriately. I am angry that our elected politicians are so casual about this nightmare. I am angry that they didn't respond to the multiple warnings that came from multiple sources. Now we shall watch as they become the mouthpieces for their respective agendas, shouldering one another to get ahead. I am angry at the class divisions that are playing themselves out. Why are we not talking about the dozens of victims at V.T? Why do they have to stand in longer lines to collect their dead? Why do we not value human life irrespective of their caste, class and religion? So yes, the collective outrage of a population is a powerful force.
There is one word that is being flashed repeatedly on our screens which promises to give a focus to our anger and grief. That one word is Pakistan. As a young and extremely outraged citizen I am afraid of the direction that our anger is taking. Afraid, because I see that as a people we seem to have developed a gut-level violent reaction to that word. When I watch the news with my peers I feel the violence in that visceral reaction whenever Pakistan is named. And it fills me with dread. There seems to be an intrinsic inability to distinguish between the people of a country, the governing body, the military and the various (extremist) groups that exist with that region. knowing that Pakistan is a country often at war with itself it is both dangerous and irresponsible to speak of it as if it is a coherent unified whole. Doing so, will only result in two nuclear powers baring their teeth at each other. It will also lead to the alienation of communities within our national boundary. Our news media often seem to forget how sensitive Pakistan as an issue is and play a definite role in kindling these embers. I recognize the fact that in some twisted way, this serves the interest of the media whose revenue today depends on the increase of heart rates.
Moreover, is it not a little too convenient? I hope that even as we make progress in establishing the identity of the agents of this atrocity we don't stop asking questions of our government and police. We ask the tough questions and demand more accountability. Pointing fingers at an outsider should not ease the pressure on our political elite. This is not to say that we don't talk of the ISI or the training camps, this is only to say that we don't let our pain numb our capacity to think. Whipping up public hate against the neighbor may make us feel temporarily better but in the long run this is destructive. Our self righteous rage against Pakistan's incapacity to 'control' its violent groups is a bit misplaced. We are simply amazed that these groups can walk the streets preaching hate and violence. We seem to have cultivated a special skill that allows us to effortlessly turn a blind eye to the devastation and violence committed by Indian extremist groups against fellow citizens. Do we ban them and put their leaders behind bars? No, we allow them unrestricted freedom or sometimes like in Gujarat we choose to democratically re-elect them to office. I don't see the organized group that mass murdered in Orissa behind bars, nor our own home-grown bunch that destroyed the city during the 92-93 riots. It is easy to ignore our hypocrisy when our emotions are volatile and our wounds throbbing. If we don't take a breath to cool off our angry chest-thumping could have disastrous consequences. Yes, we want action. But we most definitely don't want any more blood on our hands. Don't use the language of war.
and for starters, mom's spring rolls w/ my personal tough..tofu!
it was only fitting to make mint mojitos.
